I See All

Shiny Lights:

     Having finally opened the last of the mountainous pile (48,763 to be exact) of Christmas presents, I find myself in need of a respite and accompanying sober reflection. The tidal wave of holiday well-wishes has prompted me to acknowledge just how important my ramble has become to so many of you.

     Of course, genius commands that I share as much of my impressive wit & wisdom as possible - my way of sating my relentless ego giving back to the community - thus, my compulsion to provide all you need for a better life. Having said that, what better way to kick off 2012 than to release my NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS? Strap in kittens, here they come:

1. I will try to be more giving of myself this year: It's hard to imagine that I could give even more than I already do. The incessant push & pull on my time and talents is quite draining; but again, to whom much is given, much is expected.
2. I will not be so judgemental this year: Yeah, right; like the knuckle-dragging Neanderthals that surround me would even notice.
3. I will be more environmentally conscious this year: Look, I love Mother Nature, but come on - it's not like the polar ice cap has completely melted.
4. I will be a better overall person this year: Like that's even possible...

     As an added bonus, I'll also throw in my much-anticipated PREDICTIONS FOR 2012; try to keep up.

1. Season 14 of Dancing With The Stars culminates with the finals dance-off between the pros and their celebrity partners Tanya Harding, Charlie Sheen and Ernest Borgnine. In a stunning upset, the (write-in) winner is Kim Kardashian, fresh off her monumental victory in the South Carolina primary.

2. Gridlock reigns in Washington DC, as efforts to impeach Nancy Pelosi fizzle on news that she's really not alive after all.

3. The entire '12 NFL season is wiped out when enforcement of league rules regarding civil behavior begins; USPFL (United States Penal Football League) forms - Pacman Jones named Commissioner.

4. In a move that goes largely unnoticed, soccer is banned in the United States.

     Naturally, I'll develop more resolutions and predictions as the year unfolds; revealing these, along with spellbinding tales of future exploits will entertain even the most jaded skeptic.

     Yes, I know that there are those few crybaby critics out there in bloggyville that - for reasons known only to themselves and their therapists - have yet to catch the wave, and become Speed Demons. To that small number of whining dullards, I forgive you (see resolution #4, above); enter the fold - Speed's arms are wide open........

BBJ

One In A Row

Subscribers;

     Welcome to the 1st anniversary edition of Cheap Talk! Who'd have thought, those 12 long months ago, that Speed's blog would have rocketed to the top of so many reader's favorites listing? The mailbag is bursting with congratulatory messages from well wishers - many of whom now display a sycophant-like devotion to yours truly, hanging on my every word. To all of you - you're welcome!

     So in this, the 35th posting of Super Thoughts, I've decided that you all deserve a glimpse of what Tommy, Speed, Spike and the rest of my Sybil-esc iterations have been up to in the past sugar-sweet year, since we all came out of the literary closet.

DECEMBER '10:

* Inaugural edition of Super Thoughts; general indifference ensues global media outlets react with wild enthusiasm - syndication offers roll in.

JANUARY - MARCH:

* Travelled to the West African Country of Sierra Leone; reconnected with great friends / dug another latrine pit / carried blocks - part of me is still in Maboleh.

* Travelled to West Virginia (sensing a pattern developing? <West>) / learned to use a circular saw on a tin roof - awesome sparks!

APRIL - JUNE:

* A bit o' acting - Judas - obviously, an Oscar-worthy portrayal; hard for me to convey evil.

* Welcomed another grandchild into the family; not surprised that all 4 are stunningly handsome/beautiful, and well above average.

* 1st edition of theme listings: rain songs.

* Travelled to 2 weddings: Western PA (Altoona) & Western US (Cali). Fell in love with a cowgirl.

JULY - SEPTEMBER:

* Killa Flotilla - braved the mighty Susquehanna. Lead 13 trembling sailors on a perilous voyage; fell in love with a mermaid (sensing another pattern?).

* 2nd edition of theme listings: working on that wall.

* Pattipalooza X - still smarting from foul play/skullduggery; still nursing a broken heart.

OCTOBER - DECEMBER:

* Speed Demon memberships become the new "Pet Rock"; still awaiting first application struggled to respond to the overwhelming demand.

*Camping weekend; destroyed Frosty in yet another breath taking display of just how much progress remains to be made in my correspondence course on aggression control (currently sporting a 1.38 GPA thank you very much).

* 3rd edition of theme listing: songs from the crypt.

     And so, as we near the end of 2011, awash in the glow of the Christmas season, I'll offer what's sure to become an event as anticipated as the appearance of old St. Nick himself. Gather closer children, for:

SPEED'S ANNUAL HOLIDAY MESSAGE

     At this busy time, our thoughts turn inward; feelings of longing for family, friends and home dominate our ruminations. As these converge into a single, dominant stream of consciousness, it becomes ever clearer what's driving us into this frenzy - the sweet, kind, warm feelings we get when we receive Christmas gifts! Family and friends are who give us these presents; home is where we generally receive them. The toxic combination of work and responsibility corrodes those feelings throughout the year, but in December, all becomes well.

     These warm feelings are magnified with the knowledge that when we receive gifts, we're really performing a selfless act of love to those who give so generously. Scripture tells us in Acts 20:35 "....It is more blessed to give than to receive." (NIV). Clearly, receiving gifts blesses the givers far more than the recipients.

     This sacrificial act does more than just promote goodwill however; it's our civic duty to do our part to rescue our fragile economy. Remember, without gift recipients, there could be no gift givers (think about that). No gift givers means no purchases made; no purchases made means no manufacturing effort; no manufacturing effort means no businesses or factories needed; no businesses or factories means no jobs; no jobs means civil unrest; civil unrest means chaos! Is that what you really want this Christmas - a world without hope?

     I for one, reject this bleak notion and will continue my lonely crusade to accumulate as many gifts as possible. I understand that this is a thankless task, but my heart fills with pride every time I receive another Christmas present - just knowing that I'm helping someone else get by often moves me to tears.

     My voice is solitary, but my quest is honerable. Joining me in this act of sacrificial receiving will make your heart sing this holiday season as well.

     Bless you all; stay warm........

Speed