Having now been subjected to nearly 4 full days/nights of entreaties to watch NBC's god-awful, wall-to-wall coverage, I'm not exactly tingling with excitement. I thought perhaps by now others may too have developed a growing disdain for all things Olympic. Even if you have not, and number yourselves among the Games' mush-minded devotees, I must get this Gold, Silver & Bronze plated rant out of my system. As such, here are Speed's:
Top 10 Reasons Not To Watch The Olympics
allowed to compete.
9. Confusing array of rings;
<with eyebrow raised...>
Ballantine only needed 3.
Why so many colors? <with eyebrow raised...>
6. Includes "sports" such as Badminton & Table Tennis; who wants to see contests where steroids offer no competitive advantage? What's the point?
<I have no words for this, but it looks like the little fellow on the left peed himself>
Re: #1 - First Olympics were all MALE - is that the nude tradition you really want????
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAddendum to above post: SEE, EVEN THE PARTICIPANTS DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!!!!!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nypost.com/p/sports/olympics/badminton_players_tossed_match_olympic_28mGWBb3T9toHrGlBOCMFI
10. If the Queen still owned us all, problem solved.
ReplyDelete9. I wonder this myself during the opening ceremonies and apparently the rings represented the 5 inhabited continents and the colors were the only ones necessary to make all the flags for countries of the world in 1931. (I hope this is purged from my memory soon). They were the only colors the Queen permitted.
8. Made in China. If the Queen owned China too (and never gave up Hong Kong), she would have never let this happen.
7. Googled, learned and agreed. The Queen would have his head.
6. Started watching table tennis and realized they meant ping pong. I'm back in school - ping pong balls are supposed to be thrown into a cup. What is badminton? The Queen says tennis should be played on grass.
5. If the Olympics are not the premier money-making event for a sport or the best "athletes" of the sport are not allowed to compete, it shouldn't be in the Olympics. Knowing you are a huge soccer fan, what do you think of the under 23 rule for the men's competition (then randomly a team gets 3 over age players?). The Queen's ancestors invented football.
4. There have been a couple male swimmers that I thought were women when they entered the aquatics center. It's 2012, why do we still discriminate by sex for every event? The Queen would win every gold anyways.
3. We could all afford having our own ceremonies if we could manipulate our currency...wait, don't we do that too? Again, if the Queen owned us all, problem solved.
2. Did the thing on the right just get shot? These clearly did not get the Queen's blessing.
1. Please see #4. Exceptions include volleyball, track events, rowing, anyone else I want to see... (except the Queen, of course).