Rick Warren Is Wrong

Whelps:
     OMG; the interest in all things Speed continues to build. Last month's post, highlighting the 2012 Killa Flotilla experience, has shattered all previous viewing records. Demonstrably, the worldwide web world just cannot get enough of me!

     Although the life of a rock star appeals to me - the love, the attenttion, the special treatment - I remain your humble servant, owing this uncharacteristically modest assertion to the diciplined training received from the good sisters at St. Michael the Archangel elementary school, during my tender years.
     This traipse down memory lane has led me to provide yet another glimpse into my world - this time, from an historical perspective. I suspect this will become a wildly popular feature, at once both inspirational and informative. Sharing some of my most significant life moments through the years should certainly assuage all but the most indifferent of dullards, fated to wander aimlessly through cyberspace. here goes:

THIS YEAR IN SPEED HISTORY

1950 - Nearly 2,000 years after the first, another wrapped in swaddling clothes arrived. My birth had been foretold for some time; doves were released simultaneously around the globe.
1965 - Demonstrating aplomb that David Niven would envy, I rebuffed the advances of a much older woman, setting myself firmly upon a lifelong path of virtue.
1971 - In a lovely service, officiated by representatives from two religious disciplines (to ensure that it took), I wed; coevally, she became both Mrs. Brisco & The Luckiest Woman Alive.
1977/1981 - Welcomed my progeny, thus launching my unending contribution to the elevation of the planet's average IQ.
1999 - Received international acclaim for developing software that was widely credited with preventing the much anticipated and universally dreaded Y2K meltdown; declined the Nobel Prize.
2010 - Jump started my moribund career with the initial publication of "Speed Stuff", the internet's answer to the question, "What does narcissism look like?" best kept secret.
2011 - Evidencing an ongoing defiance of the aging process that besets most, I was required to show proof of age to purchase alcohol.

     Understand that this was substantially more difficult than it appears (most of what I do is); paring my plethora of incredible life events down to a manageable few was exhausting.
     So, ruminate on this awhile. I urge you to resist the inexorable urge to measure your life's journey, by mine; nothing good can come of that. To whatever degree you're able, simply be quenched by the cool relief that vicarious experiences afford. 
     Subisto siccus meus amicitia.......