Membership Has Its Benefits

Devotees:

“Step right up, ladies and gentlemen; don’t push or shove, there’s plenty available for everybody. Now, through the confluence of science and imagination, you may avail yourself of this once in a lifetime opportunity.”  -  Unknown carnival barker

“There’s a sucker born every minute.”  -  Phineas Taylor Barnum

Although this blog has achieved nowhere near the attention I crave world-wide distribution and acclaim, it’s still in its infancy.  To celebrate the looming first anniversary of CHEAP TALK, we’re launching yet another mindless venture. Yes, for as little as 7 cents a day, you too can (vicariously, of course) enjoy the awesomeness that hangin’ with me brings – as one of the Speed Demons.

Acceptance into this uber-exclusive alliance provides members with unprecedented access to yours truly. It also bestows a level of community and reverential devotion generally associated with the zealots of only a few of society’s most respected and exclusive organizations …. like Hell’s Angels, or Druids.

It works like this: simply author a request, and send it to me with your non-refundable first year’s membership dues. I’ll review your submission and, if accepted, you’ll receive a membership kit – which includes a fancy membership card (Silver Level), an autographed picture of Speed himself, in one of a variety of action shots (Gold Level) and, for the Platinum Level memberships, biographical information that’s at once informative and inspirational.

        In deference to commoners, we’ve created 3 levels of membership, designed to fit any pocketbook. There’s the Silver Level ($25/yr), the Gold Level ($50/yr) and the coveted Platinum Level ($100/yr) All Access Pass-providing a never-before available behind the scenes peek into the dank labyrinth between my ears. <U.S. currency only>

         Act now; guaranteed membership is limited to the first 1,000 responders; after that, I'll draw straws. Don’t be left behind what’s sure to become the tidal wave of popularity that's sure to be yours– http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Slv0j5USBa4. Of course, that feeling of exhiliration is fleeting - like spending 5 seconds in Heaven - but instant gratification is the lifeblood of American commerce. As such, I'll guage the response, then determine when/how to offer the Speed Brisco t-shirts, coffee mugs, lunch boxes, etc.

        Fly your flag proudly....